JANUARY 29, 2004 || 4:39pm

...searching...constantly searching. Will I ever find that errant piece from my Simon & Simon Commemorative Jigsaw Puzzle, missing since late 1987? Can I ever hope to uncover the final resting place of my beloved "Who Farted?" t-shirt? These and countless other mysteries will remain unsolved by me, the world's worst small-potatoes detective. I never asked for this line of work...why even as a young boy, I remember my father telling me that I would be hard pressed to find my own ass, if it wasn't already attached to my person. But if there's one thing you can say about me, it's that I'm no quitter and I don't let defeat get me down. Just the other day I told my acquaintance from the clinic, Roger, that I was poised and ready to begin my quest for the ultimate Monte Cristo sandwich. Roger laughed (he always does...that sick $!%#). I, however, made a personal pact with my beloved Sun God, Ra, to never falter in my resolve and stay the course until the job was done.

So, watch out World's Most Delicious Sandwich:

I will find you...

I will eat you...

I will feel queasy...

I will take a nap...

I will find you again...

Blessedly,

Doc Rhino

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JANUARY 21, 2004 || 9:32 am

Oh, the cursed writer's block... better throw up a list. How about my favorite albums of 2003? Like those batteries I got for Christmas, what it lacks in originality it hopefully makes up for in utility. Here goes, in no particular order...

Gillian Welch - Soul Journey
Broken Social Scene - You Forgot It In People
Cat Power - You Are Free
Verbena - La Musica Negra
The Twilight Singers - Blackberry Belle
The Thrills - So Much For The City
Califone - Quicksand/Cradlesnakes
Elvis Costello - Trust (Rhino Reissue)
The Postal Service - Give Up
Death Cab For Cutie - Transatlanticism
Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - Take Them On On Your Own

As far as songs, the most delightful three minutes I spent all year was during "Lola Stars And Stripes" by The Stills. Kind of a dreamy, shoegazey Britpop thing done up right by some Canadians. You can stream it at www.thestills.net along with the rest of the Logic Will Break Your Heart album, which ain't half bad either.

JANUARY 12, 2004 || 1:45 pm

Slow on the weird record front over the holidays -- gotta take some time to wade through some of the "normal" CDs that came my way as gifts (Queen, The Strokes, Teenage Fanclub, Barbara Streisand). I did manage to get the last of the cash off to my main "outsider" contact in New York, Paul Major, for Lucia Pamela and Silhouette Segments originals. Now let's see if he'll cut me loose one of those Abner Jays!

Had a bad scare recently in regard to CD-Rs that really got me to thinking. Just two years ago I'd burnt back-up copies of the database software we use here onto a disc -- two actually, a copy and a "safety copy." The other day when I went to put it on a computer, I discovered both discs had become unreadable. These were hardly top-of-the-line CD-Rs, but they came from our in-house sound guy, so I'm sure they weren't bottom-of-the-line, either. Fortunately most of what I needed existed elsewhere on one of the hard drives in our department.

Which brings me to the thinking part. I think an awful lot of people who've burned songs (or photos or any other kind of data) onto recordable media like this will be in for a rude awakening when they go back to play them in a few years. You've probably heard a lot about downloading music recently -- whether legally or illegally -- but probably not so much about storing it (beyond the news story about Apple iPods dying after 18 months). Which is one reason I think (hope) commercially produced, professionally packaged CDs will be with us for a while. Or vinyl, for that matter; I have LPs that are more than 40 years old and never have to worry whether or not my turntable can read them.

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November 25, 2003 || 4:17 pm

One thing I enjoy about getting older is the increasing ability to divorce beautiful music from the assholes who make it. Now I dislike Courtney Love as much as the next guy. She's like a namedrop made flesh. She's smart, but so are a lot of people I generally prefer to avoid. And I'm not sure I'd wanna bar hop with Ryan Adams either, but let's try to give both these people's records a fair shake. Courtney has some of the best rock pipes out there, and the fact that Brody of The Distillers sounds a lot like her doesn't cause me to bash the younger singer either (I met Brody once, not knowing who she was, and she seemed like a good gal to boot). As for Ryan, there's an interesting back-story to his new EP Love Is Hell Pt. 1, but I'd almost encourage you to skip it and just listen to the record. Hearing it prior to reading about it, I got to enjoy the disc simply for the fine songs it contains.

I stumbled upon the scoop at www.allmusic.com, where Stephen Erlewine appears to have an axe to grind with the "Enfant Terrible" he later compares to Zelig for his chameleon-like poses. Apparently Lost Highway, after shelving Adams' post-Gold albums 48 Hours and The Suicide Handbook, had another bone to pick with Love Is Hell. The youngster's reputed paean to Morrissey -- complete with dour melodies, chorused guitars, and John Porter production -- wasn't getting any love from the label home of Lucinda Williams. So the Lost Highway strategists agreed to release the EP, but only concurrently with something more Americana -- but with tattoos. Hence the awkwardly un-rocking Rock N Roll.

All said and done, the EP is more bang for your buck -- eight songs for $6-8, depending. Mr. Prolific's selections are mostly downbeat and delicately arranged; and to me, that's exactly what he does best. Give the skilled balladeer and amp, and barring "Nuclear," he starts to sound like his dreaded near-namesake (most everybody's heard about how Ryan blows a gasket if someone in the audience shouts out "Summer Of '69" or "Cuts Like A Knife").

Let's simplify. Rock N Roll mostly bad. Love Is Hell Pt. 1 mostly good.

As for being prolific, it might go nicely with a record label that actually releases records. At least now Ryan Adams can stop scribbling on napkins and enjoy his cocktail.

comments? email Dr.Rhino

November 17, 2003 || 2:44 pm

I'm a pacifist. Sue me. One of the first things out of a politician's mouth when justifying his or her opposition to institutional violence is, Now, I'm not a pacifist. Like believing that killing people is wrong under any circumstances is the most unfashionable position possible. If you listen to anti-war weekend warriors like John Kerry, Wesley Clark, and Howard Dean, it's like war just doesn't fit the game plan (Dennis Kucinich is my man; he talks about nonviolence as an organizing principle). It doesn't make sense, doesn't serve our long-term objectives, or some such politico-corporate speak. Well I'm not running for office, so fuck it -- I'm a pacifist. I don't think anybody should be killed for anything: soldiers, civilians, good guys, bad guys, killers, perverts, terrorists, people who don't use turn signals. Although you'd probably call me a lefty, I won't wear a Che Guevara shirt (my wife got me one and it's still wrapped around a piece of cardboard). I admire Guevara's revolutionary asceticism and his anti-imperialist, reform-minded politics; but he killed a lotta fools. Let's just say that dissidents were wise to get the hell out of Cuba after the revolution, 'cause it was real off-with-your-head type shit and ol' Che was holding the machete. Gimme a Ghandi shirt and I'll put it on post-haste. Now I don't know much about him outside the Ben Kingsley flick, but the Mahatma seemed like a badass of a different sort: taking batons to the back, weaving loincloths, starving himself -- all the while coming off cool as a cucumber. You know how they say that to show a feminine side is to be comfortable with your masculinity. Well I think we should be comfortable enough with our sense of justice not to have to blow people up to prove it. Let's leave the blood 'n' guts to the video games -- the kind that don't run on CNN.

comments? email Dr.Rhino

October 21, 2003 || 1:45pm

Well, I just might have found that cool source for Colombian records after all. Got an e-mail from a record dealer I'd previously bought from on eBay (the opportunity that site provides to network with dealers/collectors of similar material is almost as important as bidding on stuff). It'll cost me a small fortune, but for the chance to cross Los Ampex's Infierno A-Go-Go and Los Yetis' Olividate off of my want list, it's worth it. At least it seems that way now; we'll see how I feel in a couple weeks after the discs have arrived and I get to actually hear the music and see what this person's "near mint" grade looks like.

Also on the South American front, I got Spectrum's Geracao Bendita LP this weekend. The dealer/condition were unknown quantities here as well, but not the music. For fans of '60s/'70s psych, the Shadoks reissue of this album is definitely worth checking out. The record arrived with a huge crack in it -- which I knew going in. I'm pretty fussy about condition and would never have bought something like this were it not ultra-rare. Still, the disc was pretty clean other than that crack, which was for the most part inaudible. Try putting a CD with a crack (or even a bad scratch) in your machine, and most likely it won't play at all.

Little else happened on the music front this weekend as I was preoccupied at a screenwriting expo in downtown L.A. -- a place you should never, ever go, where parking fees are exorbitant and the freeways seem like they were mapped out by a five-year-old child with his eyes closed. All the verbiage on this page should suffice to show that (in addition to obscure music of all stripes) I have an interest in writing, even if I am a total wannabe at this point. Regardless of your level of talent, success, or ambition, it's fun to be surrounded by creative types -- as long as you're able to escape from them at will. This was a cheaper form of entertainment than a weekend in Las Vegas, though the odds of hitting the jackpot were probably lower...

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October 3, 2003 || 3:45pm

"...just came to...how long have I been curled up in a ball, under my desk? Seems like decades. A word of warning fellow travelers, ALWAYS...no, wait...NEVER wear a leotard to a biker rally. It's all fun and games at first, but once the PCP wears off, things can get a little uncivilised. But enough about last night. Let's seize the day...

You know, sometimes people ask me questions..."Dr., what will become of humanity? Are we hurtling towards oblivion? Can I borrow $5?" These are all valid:

1. What will become of humanity?

Humanity is thought by many to be a powerful and unpredictable force that concurrently pushes the boundaries of it's understanding, while sacrificing fruits of it's innocence. Humanity will continue to develop it's mission statement: the acquisition and manipulation of smooth and shiny things.

2. Are we hurtling towards oblivion?

Is a frog's ass watertight? Yes, I believe it is.

3. Can I borrow $5?

Why don't you ask, "Can I have $5?" instead? Why bother with confusing repayment schedules? Making this $5 a gift will improve all of our lives in the long run.

Stop the insanity!

comments? email Dr. Rhino

September 29, 2003 || 12:01pm

Those albums from Colombia finally arrived -- two months after I sent the guy payment through PayPal (first person to figure out how to send money overseas CHEAPLY AND SAFELY gets to be the next Bill Gates...). It's tough enough to buy records from dealers on other continents; from the Third World, it's even hairier. And the fact that this was Colombia...this box probably passed through the hands of every customs agent in America in the last month or so. Or maybe this guy just waited forever to mail it.

And of course the records had been overgraded (saying it's in "m++" condition should've tipped me off). VG or worse covers and some marks on the two Los Speakers discs that were supposed to be really clean. At least the Los Ferreira vinyl was nice. Musically the first Speakers and the Ferriera are decent, if unspectacular, garagey beat; the final Speakers album is kinda psych-ish and a little more interesting. but nothing you can't live without.

Needless to say, I'm still searching for a reliable source for good '60s records from Colombia...

comments? email Dr. Rhino

August 14, 2003 || 11:33am

Good movies, good soundtracks. Sometimes the twain shall meet. I must've had some good Netflix karma last week, 'cause I wound up spending two quality evenings with two good movies that also happen to be blessed with very good soundtracks. I refer to Love Liza and Moonlight Mile.

Love Liza is the story of Web designer, played by Phillip Seymour Hoffman, who comes unglued after his wife's suicide. Unable to read her suicide note, he proceeds to fuck up at work and descend into a world of gas-huffing and model boat races. It's slow-paced and subtly humorous, with good bit parts and a satisfying ending. Jim O'Rourke wrote and performed the score, a delicate, breezy indie-type thing that includes a tune from his latest solo album, Insignificance. O'Rourke's a madly talented chap. He freaks on guitar as a now-permanent member of Sonic Youth, mixes Wilco records, and sustains a more-than-respectable solo career. He also recently made a wonderful record with Jeff Tweedy as Loose Fur. Ironically, the avant-minded O'Rourke functions thankfully as somewhat of a McCartney presence, tempering Tweedy's Lennonist tendencies toward self-absorption and slack melody. Their little record might not be Important like Yankee Hotel Foxtrot, but I'll be damned if it isn't more fun to listen to. Anyway, the Love Liza songs are hypnotic and pacifying. I was bummed to find no soundtrack album.

Moonlight Mile takes place in the early-'70s Vietnam era, and the soundtrack selections reflect that -- minus the protest songs. Again with the death-aftermath business: Young Jake Gyllenhall's fiancé has just passed. Feeling obligated after certain plans have been laid with her family, he sticks around -- living in their house and reluctantly going into business with dad-in-law Dustin Hoffman. Naturally, he meets a girl who's also lost someone, and they not-so-naturally make love to an obscure ballad from Van Morrison's His Band And The Street Choir. Amazing choice. Why didn't I think of it? Elton John's "Razor Face" is cinematic for days and another sly choice. I don't want to give stuff away, so I'll just say there's a very Hollywood ending that takes place to the heavenly tune of Van Morrison's "Sweet Thing." The title of the flick itself derives from a Stones song -- no slouch of one at that. Susan Sarandon plays the writer/mother-in-law. She's mostly charming as a "cool mom" type, but at one point she refers to vomiting as "booting," and I ain't buying it.

Minor flaw, though. There needn't be any barfing during either of these fine films. And do what it takes to get good audio workin' for ya.

comments? email Dr. Rhino

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