Every time I go to the movies I feel like Marty McFly. Six dollars for a Coke? Sounds about right-- for the year 2027.
“Do I look like I rode here on a hover board?” I wisecrack to the girl behind the counter, Jessica.
She gives me a puzzled stare. I let it go.
“Medium Coke, small popcorn, no butter.”
That's a six dollar coke and a four dollar popcorn. A sawbuck. No big deal. I've learned to go to the movies the same way I go to Vegas -- emotionally detached from my cash. Any other attitude would be maddening. I follow the Eastern way of peace, harmony and acceptance.
But Jessica takes a big dump in my Zen garden by asking if I want to try a “Medium Combo” for just eleven dollars. I ask what the medium combo includes. She explains that it's a medium coke and a medium popcorn.
“Huh?” I mumble, “A medium popcorn is five dollars. A medium coke is six. But if I get them together in the combo it costs me eleven?”
“That's right!”
“What's the point of ordering a combo if I don't save any money?”
“Well,” she hesitates, “It's kind of fun. And it's fast, too.”
“It's not fun,” I opine, “And it's not fast either. My way, I say 'Medium Coke, medium popcorn, no butter' and I've gotten my order in with six words. But your way I say 'Medium Combo' and we're just getting started because then you have to ask me 'What type of drink?' right? So I say, 'Hmm, I think I'll have a Coke' and we're still not done because you're going to ask me if I want butter on my popcorn. See? We end up having this whole Aristotelian dialogue.”
At this point Jessica's boss, Matt, stepped up and asked if there was a problem.
“He doesn't want a combo,” Jessica explains, “He thinks it's Australian.”
Anyway, I took my medium Coke and small popcorn into the theater and watched 30 Days of Night, which, compared to the above conversation, was even more stupid.
When Rocky Petralia is not annoying the staff at the Foothill Ranch Regal Theaters, he is busy answering reader's questions at HelloRocky.com.
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