The Andy Kaufman documentary I'm From Hollywood (with the bonus film My Breakfast With Blassie included on the DVD) is a work of unparalleled comic genius. It's not surprising that this fact is quite evident to me, since I am a Hollywood genius myself. If I'm going too fast for any of you less gifted members of the great unwashed out there, please forgive me. Far be it for me to attempt to enlighten the mouth-breathing legions (who wouldn't know a comic masterstroke if it was tattooed on their sister's inner thigh). Yeah, I'm talkin' to YOU, so listen up!
I'm From Hollywood chronicles Andy's journey into the highly competitive and sometimes arousing world of inter-gender wrestling (that's men vs. women, my angels). Andy quickly rises to the top, successfully pinning over 400 women without a single loss. (Typically, this level of success brings a hefty helping of envy from the cretinous armies of average slobs in the world. I'm sure you're experiencing that very feeling right now, while reading this sparkling work of intellectual ferocity. Let it go. You'll always be a nickel, and you'll never be a dime.) Eventually, Andy draws the jealous ire of wrestling champion Jerry "The King" Lawler. A complex ballet of taunting and posturing between Kaufman and Lawler unfolds over the ensuing months, culminating in a series of matches between these two titans of the wrestling world. Trudging through this field littered with neck braces and the occasional comeuppance, we find ourselves at their final match. This epic bout contains one of the greatest feats of trickery you will ever see in your pathetic lives. I won't reveal anymore here (gotta keep that carrot dangling).
You should kneel down and kiss my feet for trying to hip you to the wonderfulness that is I'm From Hollywood. Moreover, because I am filled with compassion for the chronically stupid and unattractive, I'm gonna tell you about the cinematic majesty of My Breakfast With Blassie. This loving portrait of two real men, sitting down and enjoying breakfast at the world famous Sambo's restaurant, challenges the mind and quickens the pulse. The probing and frank discussions between Andy Kaufman and his old friend, self-proclaimed King of Men Freddie Blassie, cover the pitfalls of fame and the realities of wrestling. You'll learn life lessons in regards to cleanliness, table manners, and how to leave your waitress less of a tip by rubbing her belly. Ultimately, a grim portrait is painted of a public filled with pencil-necked geeks and fickle star worshippers. Nevertheless, Andy and Mr. Blassie handle all of this with classiness and mild apprehension.
Well, I hope you've enjoyed trying to comprehend these inspired words of a handsome and charming Hollywood genius. Do yourself a favor and watch I'm From Hollywood and My Breakfast With Blassie repeatedly. The only hope for achieving greatness is constant exposure to it.
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