"I know it's cold outside
Come on baby I'll keep you satisfied
All you gotta do is move
Every time you feel that groove"
So I'm driving my fucked up car to pick up my buddy to go hiking and some Beatle or Herman's Hermits track is playing on the radio. I can't remember which, I've heard it before, I liked it, otherwise I would have switched the channel. But when it was finished, just after that guy in the Xterra started bleeding into my lane, the announcer came on to tell me I was listening to a SPECIALTY SHOW!
They do this all the time on XM to keep it INTERESTING! They could just play sixties music all day long. But then it would be like K-EARTH, any oldies station on terrestrial radio. But it turned out the theme of THIS show was while the British were invading the U.S, what were THEY listening to, what was the corresponding number on the hit parade in the U.K!
I figured they'd play some Cliff Richard track. Something that DESERVED not to cross the pond. But what came out of the speakers originated in PHILADELPHIA! It's just that it didn't catch on in the U.S. It was a one hit wonder by the Showstoppers.
Working the stick, accelerating from the stoplight, I didn't reach to switch stations, and then I heard this amazing SOUND!
You see they made these records LIVE, in MONO! Everybody set up in the studio, and they did enough takes till they got it RIGHT! As a result, there's an ENERGY you just don't get in the antiseptic records built in increments today. What you had was a live band, one that could hit every note, going for the one TAKE! And, the take they ultimately settled on, the one they released as a single, might not have been technically perfect, but it was MAGICAL!
We thought 45s sounded shitty because our record players had two ton tonearms and we spun the discs ad infinitum. But these cheap records of the past were not RECORDED so well. It was a completely different experience from today. There was a VEIL between you and the music, a SMOKE SCREEN! You wanted to get closer, but in order to do this, you actually had to see the band live.
Which, you had a strong urge to do. It was the exact OPPOSITE of today. Rather than go to the disco to dance to one hit wonders by acts who can't truly sing and play, you wanted to go and actually SEE and hear those who made these records. Hell, the acts weren't on TV, this was the only way you could be EXPOSED! But until you did this, or if you were UNABLE to do this, you just had the record, you fell in love with the record, it was a TREASURE!
The best rock movie ever made is "Quadrophenia". Because the band's not in it. The director just wanted to capture the SCENE! And although I wasn't there, the movie rings true. Adolescents testing the limits before they settle down to their boring lives. And some of the absolute BEST parts of the film are the house parties. Hell, were there two or three or only ONE? I don't remember. But I do know there was a sexual energy, a TENSION in that small room where records were being spun that is the ESSENCE of teenagedom. When your face is full of zits and you want to fuck everything that moves but you'll settle for just BUMPING INTO SOMEBODY!
Maybe I didn't go to enough house parties. Maybe everybody in the RECORD BUSINESS didn't go to enough house parties. Because the people who went to the house parties were better adjusted. They didn't need to leave their mark. They married Joni the cheerleader or Jimmy the football captain, had a few kids, supported by Jim's insurance job, and that was all she wrote. We need to leave our mark, we need to be involved, because somehow we feel we MISSED OUT! We had mental movies, we just didn't LIVE THEM! We spun the records, we were just at home.
All this came back as I heard the ORIGINAL version of "Ain't Nothing But A House Party". Oh, I knew that the J. Geils take was a cover, but I figured the song had been a regional hit somewhere, some blues number that only a deejay like Peter Wolf would know. This regional music isn't usually worth checking out, usually the cover is better. Or maybe I'm just rationalizing because I'm overwhelmed by all that research. Or maybe I just believe I've HEARD all the originals of the songs I love, and too many were disappointments. But the original of "Ain't Nothing But A House Party" cuts the cover to SHREDS!
It's a completely different production. The Geils take has an EDGE! It's in your FACE! Where there's no edge to be found on the Showstoppers' version WHATSOEVER! It's like everybody's had just enough beer to loosen up, and the pure joy of all being TOGETHER is enough. No one needs to shine, because everybody's having TOO GOOD A TIME!
To think that there's an undiscovered gem like this out there blows my mind, it gives me reason to live.
All those kids into 50 Cent. All those oldsters listening to Norah Jones. If they heard "Ain't Nothing But A House Party", they'd be FLOORED! It just can't be denied. It sounds like it was cut in OUTER SPACE! Since they don't make music like this ANYWHERE ANYMORE! This is the kind of music they play when the Laker girls strut their stuff. But those numbers are overdone. We've heard them too much. Whereas hearing "Ain't Nothing But A House Party" is like you're married to a person, and someone opens a vault, and there's an exact DOUBLE! Frozen in time, from the moment you met.
"Come on dig that crazy soul
I know you're gonna lose control
You can do the boogaloo
Anything that you want to do"
You hear music like this and you lose sight of your surroundings. They fade away. It's just you and the music. Suddenly, your body starts moving involuntarily. Doesn't matter if you're thin or fat. Whether you've got zits or perfect skin. For the two and a half minutes of this song, you feel equal to ANYBODY! That's the power of music, it gives you confidence, it ENABLES YOU! If you haven't played your favorite record before dialing a crush, you're not IN this business.
There was record after record like this. Certainly all that Motown stuff. But then there was the Fantastic Johnny C's "Boogaloo Down Broadway". And, even "Bend Me, Shape Me". Simple, but so RIGHT!
Don't call me out to go dancing. I'm too self-conscious. I don't think I'm good enough. But take me to the show, let me hear a number like "Ain't Nothing But A House Party", and you'll see me move. Like I tell people, I only dance when I'm INSPIRED! And WHEN inspired, I feel I'm the best dancer in the world, hell, we ALL DO! And "Ain't Nothing But A House Party" makes me feel this way.
You can't find the Showstoppers' "Ain't Nothing But A House Party" on the iTunes Music Store. The major corporations don't care about music like this. Maybe if it were on the soundtrack of "Quadrophenia", where it belongs, but as a one hit single by a band that faded into the woodwork, nobody cares.
Except me.
And anybody else who's ever heard it.
And for people like us, there's only one place to go, a place where we live, because we don't need music because it keeps CORPORATIONS alive, but because it keeps US alive. And that's P2P. You can get it there. I got it there. Took a minute, but then it showed up. It was good to know another soul out there KNEW ABOUT IT!
And now I can't stop playing it.
I'm brought right back to the sixties. My formative years. The calendar might read 2005, but I'm back decades ago, all full of energy, all full of HOPE!
And that's all because of one record.
So please, join in.
We're not gonna set the world on fire. We're not gonna be on "Entertainment Tonight", there aren't gonna be pictures of us in the "Enquirer" or "Us". Because stars were different back then. They deserved the accolades, they were famous for SOMETHING, and there weren't that many of them. The rest of us, we were happy with our role. Having a good time on the planet.
And you can't have a better time than listening to "Ain't Nothing But A House Party".
So where are we going? Janie's house? Tommy's? Where are we all meeting Friday night? To get a little high and bump into each other. If I'm lucky, I'll get to feel you up in the car before we go home. I don't expect any more, I don't NEED any more. Let's go slow, and ENJOY IT!
"It ain't nothing but a party
It ain't nothing but a house party"
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