Happy Birthday, Alice Cooper!

Who’s 66 today but still says he’s 18? Why, Alice Cooper, of course! And, yes, we did use some approximation of that joke last year, but we decided to use it again because we – wait for it – Love It to Death. (Don’t worry: that joke we’re retiring.)

We’re not sure if it’ll make him feel his age or make him feel like a kid again, but to celebrate his birthday, we thought we’d offer up the first song Cooper ever wrote all by his lonesome…or at least that’s how he described “Shoe Salesman,” from 1970’s Easy Action, to the Onion AV Club, anyway.

“I think I was trying to make it sound like a Paul McCartney song of some sort, but it did have a little bit of irony in the lyrics,” said Cooper. “I always liked the idea of having a little bit of irony in songs. I mean, it was about a shoe salesman…but I think it was also about a secret junkie!”